Friday, July 8, 2011

Time Marches On

So if you know me, you know I am secretly married to David Cook, aka Mr. Stacie Brown. Totally joking! I do, however, find him irresistibly sexy and brilliantly talented. If you don't know who David Cook is - shame on you!!! Anyhow, his new album came out two weeks ago and I committed to listening to it as often as I can (at least once a day) so when he goes out on tour, I'll be able to sing along to all his songs. Don't judge me! :) His new album is superb and there are so many great songs on it.

One of my favorites is titled, Time Marches On. One of the lyrics in the song says, "I never thought I'd see myself down here/In the same damn place with a different year/Where the lines on my face never looked so clear." And the chorus goes, "Time marches on, right or wrong/Never waits for no one, no/Can't turn it off, won't make it through/Cause time marches on without you."

Oh how I can relate to these lyrics. So often in my life, I have felt like I'm stuck, that my life has become stagnant, that I haven't changed or grown at all. The years keep passing, but I'm still in the same place I was the year before and the year before that and the year before that...But as I reflect on that, that's total bulls*it! The reason I feel that way is because I tend to focus on the things I don't have (I don't own my own home, I'm not married and I don't have children) instead of focusing on the positives. Like: I have lost 60 pounds. I ran a half marathon. I'm amazing at my job. I have my own place. I pay my own bills. I have amazing friends. I love myself a little more every day. I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin and discover who the authentic Stacie Brown is...These are HUGE changes in my life, so time isn't passing me by at all!

Every time I hear the chorus of this song, I feel a little guilt. I can't even count how many times I have said, "I'll do it tomorrow." Or "I'll do it when I'm thinner." And tomorrow comes and goes and I don't do it. And I don't feel I'm thin enough, so I never commit to it. Living my life like this is not healthy and only creates opportunities for regret. The only thing we as humans are guaranteed is right now, this moment. We are not promised tomorrow. And I am so guilty of living for tomorrow instead of living for the moment. I have a deep desire to change this way of being. I want to be able to do something when I think of doing it and not talk myself out of it because I don't have time or I'm afraid of how I'll look. But how do I change this mindset? Hmmmm, looks like a new challenge for myself and maybe for you too ;)

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