Saturday, June 25, 2011

What's That on Your Foot?

I have a tattoo on the top of my right foot that's been there for about four years now. When people see it, they always ask me, "What's on your foot?" And I always say it's a heart shaped rock with the hebrew word, hesed, that means unconditional love. And they look at me strangely and I reply by saying that it's a long story, but I have the actual rock that is tattooed on my foot. So, I decided to explain my tattoo here...In the fall of 2005 I had my heart completely shattered. I had fallen in love with a man whom I thought loved me back. It turns out that he did love me, just not enough....basically it came down to this - he cared for me and another girl and had to make a choice and one week after my 27th birthday he told me he was in love with her and wanted to marry her (people work fast in the romance department around here!). I was shattered, broken, devistated. I cried for about three days straight. I didn't know what to do. I thought this was the man God has given me to be my husband, but I was wrong. One day I was walking down my driveway, crying out to God, asking Him why this happened and just pouring my heart out to Him. And I look down at the ground and see a heart shaped rock on the ground about the size of three fingers and the perfect shape. A few weeks later, I was walking the same path, questioning God again, and found another heart shaped rock. I have found four of them in all. Call me crazy if you like (you wouldn't be the first person to do so), but I really feel like God gave me these rocks as a sign - a sign of His love for me. He loves me so much and it pains Him to see me cry, so He gave me these rocks to comfort me and tell me that He loves me and that it's going to be okay and that He has an amazing man for me, but I just need to be patient......I have since healed from this heartache and am now really good friends with this man and his wife. And I know that God has an amazing man of integrity and compassion (and who's funny as heck) in store for me...so I got this tattoo to remind me of how much God really loves me. And the pain I endured for this is nothing compared to the pain Christ had to endure for me.

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