What's That on Your Foot?

I have a tattoo on the top of my right foot that's been there for about four years now. When people see it, they always ask me, "What's on your foot?" And I always say it's a heart shaped rock with the hebrew word, hesed, that means unconditional love. And they look at me strangely and I reply by saying that it's a long story, but I have the actual rock that is tattooed on my foot. So, I decided to explain my tattoo here...In the fall of 2005 I had my heart completely shattered. I had fallen in love with a man whom I thought loved me back. It turns out that he did love me, just not enough....basically it came down to this - he cared for me and another girl and had to make a choice and one week after my 27th birthday he told me he was in love with her and wanted to marry her (people work fast in the romance department around here!). I was shattered, broken, devistated. I cried for about three days straight. I didn't know what to do. I thought this was the man God has given me to be my husband, but I was wrong. One day I was walking down my driveway, crying out to God, asking Him why this happened and just pouring my heart out to Him. And I look down at the ground and see a heart shaped rock on the ground about the size of three fingers and the perfect shape. A few weeks later, I was walking the same path, questioning God again, and found another heart shaped rock. I have found four of them in all. Call me crazy if you like (you wouldn't be the first person to do so), but I really feel like God gave me these rocks as a sign - a sign of His love for me. He loves me so much and it pains Him to see me cry, so He gave me these rocks to comfort me and tell me that He loves me and that it's going to be okay and that He has an amazing man for me, but I just need to be patient......I have since healed from this heartache and am now really good friends with this man and his wife. And I know that God has an amazing man of integrity and compassion (and who's funny as heck) in store for me...so I got this tattoo to remind me of how much God really loves me. And the pain I endured for this is nothing compared to the pain Christ had to endure for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lovely

A group of us girls from the office went to a workshop the other day about body image and the media. Let's just say I did not leave there with warm fuzzy feelings. The workshop didn't inform me of anything I didn't already know. Society/the media in America says to be beautiful, to be lovely, you have to be tall and thin and white. Well, I am one of those things, so that must mean I am one third beautiful. After the presentation, there was a time for discussion. One woman, an overweight, middle-aged, black woman asked if men were really attracted to thin women. And several people spoke up and stated they didn't think men liked thin women, but preferred a woman who was thick. I believe this is the truth for those women who spoke up during this workshop, but it is not my truth. My truth that I have known since seventh grade is that to be big (fat, curvy, thick - whatever you call it) is ugly/bad/wrong/unwanted. For as long as I can remember, I have battled my weight. I h
Read more

90 Day Challenge Complete

So, I've completed the first ninety days of Operation Healthy Stacie. These past ninety days have flown by! I can't believe it's been three months since I decided, once and for all, to get fit & healthy. I have dieted and worked out on and off since middle school. And nothing has ever really worked. I've never liked being overweight - ever. It's actually brought a lot of pain and heartache to my life and has really held me back. Bit in spite of how difficult and painful it's been to be overweight, my love of food and my battle with emotional eating has always won out. Up until now that is! For the first time in my life, I'm choosing real joy, real sadness, real emotions, real life instead of dulling the pain with food or alcohol. For the first time, I see food as fuel. For the first time I see myself as an athlete and see working out as a part of my daily routine, not a pain in the ass. I actually find working out to be fun. :) For the first time in my
Read more

Some Thoughts at Thirty-four

Here are some of my thoughts on my body, on love and on life... My Body I am learning that I am a work in progress and that includes my body. Just a few months ago, I wouldn't have had anything kind to says in regards to my body. But over the past three months, I am learning to have a different perspective. I like my eyes (most people say they are my best feature), my smile, my teeth, my dimples, my wrists, my collarbone, and my legs. I love how strong my legs are and how they are curvy and voluptuous  strong and getting more toned each week. They helped me run a half marathon. They help me get out my nervous energy by bouncing when I sit :). They take me everywhere I go. They look good in a dress. And my left thigh hosts the most amazing piece of art I've ever seen - my phoenix - that reminds me that I am a new creation! And I don't have to be who I've always been or who others have told me I am or believe what I've always believed. I am new everyday and I get t
Read more